grrr.. feeling at the end of my life. feel like ending it once and for all. i did silly things which i shld have. and did i ever regret when i did it? i doubt for the answer. in the past, i used to have a fear when i c my frens or anyone who did that.. i sure will persuad or run far far away.. yet, i myself is doing the same thing. it's such a irony. last night i finally brought up the subject after 2 months. i've finally come out wif a stand. i took 3o minutes to think wad to say and after which i send the msg. i waited. my heart beat faster and faster when each second passed by. 7 minutes and 25 seconds when the reply came back [godness know how come i can survive after waiting so long] and after which i was realli sad. and feel like crying. i didnt talk to anyone abt this and i've no intention to do so. i still replied in a super stupid tone if u can analysis "alrite. nvm" and tt's wad i did. i did the silliest thing. and luckily, onli 2 ppl realised. kor and jon. ok, i supposed it was kor who saw it and tell jon. so well, y cant u all leave me alone? and let me be the person who jus die there alone? i dun nid anyone to have self-pityness for me. i dun nid anyone who care for me for other personal advantages. i rather be left alone. ALL ALONE. kor, if u ever say anything to anyone abt it wad u saw.. i swear, i'll BREAK ALL TIES wif u. and i'll do it. u shld noe, i mean wad i say.. the stare when i looked at u seemed so different now. maybe b'cos of the sms. nothing will ever be the same anymore. hurts.. r they meant to be forgotten or to be remember? *sians* i dunnoe anymore now. i onli noe 2 months ago, our promise. do u ever rmb them? i tried my best in doing wad u wanted. and now i realised i've fallen deep in <3 chiben finally came back to sch. i told him abt the trigo amath test. both of us r determined to be getting good marks. hehe. i told him, it's alrite for him to win me.. but not * and we both will do our best!!!! i dun seemed to be having frens now. somehow, my family problems make me not wanting to talk abt my problems. maybe it's normal for me not to talk abt my prob. so wad even if i'm able to let go my thoughts? no one can helped me. they can onli counsel. the frens which i have dun realli seemed to like me too. at least (to console myself), there are definately SOMEONE out there who is willing to shower me wif love, care and concern. it's jus i dunnoe yet as this person is in the midst still waiting for me to find. i dun wan anything i jus wan someone who can shower me wif love; care and concern all those cuts which i had inflicted on myself doesnt hurt at all.